Love Matters

Oh no, you know what’s coming up? Yeah, Valentine’s Day. I don’t know who started this day, but it’s gotta be one of the most dramatic events of the year. It’s probably not even as big here in Australia as it is in the US. I remember, years ago, I was hosting at a restaurant in West Hollywood, LA, and the Valentines’ Day dinner was booked out a good month in advance. Being 20, single, and Australian, I was completely boggled by this. Like, really?? Really? You guys are so into this date?!

Well, as Australia evolves into a hybrid sort-of US, the holiday gains momentum in the southern hemisphere also. And this year is a classic example. Having accidentally (okay, totally on purpose) signed onto the urban outfitters website, I am repeatedly bombarded with Valentines’ Day special gifts for my special valentine. It’s hard not to be afraid, particularly as I am 27, not sure what I’m doing with my career, am thinking of throwing it all in to go back to university, and can quite easily envision myself, ten years down the line (…okay, FIVE years down the line), Bridget-Jones style, screeching “Alllll by myyyyyself” into a hairbrush, alone, at home, on Christmas.

Note to self: must not envision myself as some kind of Asian Bridget Jones, or this might very well happen.

Here’s my question: At what point did Valentine’s Day, and Wedding Days, and Anniversary Days, and ‘special’ days in general, overtake day-to-day decency? When did the wedding become the focus, rather than the marriage? In the hullaballoo that ensues after a proposal, why are all the preparations focused on the ‘big day’ only, with scant attention paid to what will happen after? Why is the divorce rate So. Damn. High?!?! What’s with the arguing and lying and cheating and miscommunications and all the other things that break down love?

Why do we wait for a day in February, to turn to our loved ones, and tell them the things we should be telling them every single day? In word and in action? If Urban Outfitters is peddling a “Love Sucks” soap for only $8, why are we only waiting for Valentines’ Day to get this? I would LOVE that soap on any day! Labour Day! Anzac Day! WEDNESDAY! I can always use cute soap!

More importantly, all the other days? All the other trying, stressful days, when work is just a bit too-hard-basket, when the bakery is out of high-fibre multi-grain, when your co-worker handballs yet ANOTHER assignment onto you, only to take credit for it later… those days, when I come home and snap at the one(s) I supposedly love? How about trying to turn those days around? Exercising some patience? Showing some love, kindness, and consideration, on a non-special day of the year?

This year, on Valentines’ Day, I will be 10,001 days old. (Engineers are so pathetic). I really hope that I’ll have learned something with each of those days. And I hope that I can remember, that it’s important to love just as hard, on any given day. Hallmark-endorsed or no. Love matters!