Patients…Patience

It was last Thursday. It had been a very, very long day in a very, very long week. And now, it was nearly 8 PM and I was still on the road trying to get home from work. I was trying to beat the clock and get home in time to read a bedtime story and have a snuggle with my little guy and let’s face it, the clock was winning. I was within minutes of the driveway, about to turn onto my exit. The exit was blocked with construction cones without any warning. I narrowly avoided taking home a few souvenir cones and proceeded on to a series of unpleasant and untimely events: including a missed shortcut, a borderline illegal U-turn and a stalled tractor trailer in my intersection (and yes, it was mine at that point…it had been that kind of day).  Now, I consider myself to be a patient person but more than once I have fantasized about my car being a military tank and ramming random cars in my path. And since I was not beating the clock, I might as well take a little trip on the guilt train.

So, I was berating myself about my impatience, my use of choice words that no one else could hear and my hurry, hurry attitude. Suddenly, I flashed on an image of not nearly long enough ago: the waiting room of my husband’s oncologist’s office. Our first appointment there was cruel and unusual punishment: we waited for over two hours past our appointment time, strung tight as piano wires and then only to get no information as the lab results were not yet in. This seems to be part of the shared experience with all humankind who have received a cancer diagnosis. In fact, it becomes complete habit to sit in that waiting room for far past the appointment time. And do you know what? Not once did we ever see a person get upset, shout at the front office staff or even mutter to their companion. In fact, if anyone even looked at their watch, we’d smile at each other and say “Newbie.” It just became an unspoken understanding that someone in an exam room beyond that door needed the doctor more than our family did and so we were good to wait. It went without saying that if our family were in crisis, we’d want a bit of undivided and unhurried attention. So, we’d wait and be glad that we could. That situation is truly a phenomenon, I think. Where else can you see patience, dignity and grace in a public setting? Where else will people gladly wait their turn without complaint for longer than humanly possible? Most people can’t wait the posted 15 minutes before they begin to spontaneously combust. And truly, wouldn’t it be within reason for a cancer patient to stand up and demand their poison drip of chemo to be delivered on time, for the love of Pete?

So, I sat there waiting for that tractor trailer to get it in gear and was glad that I could wait. I reminded myself that beyond that unmoving hunk of steel were two sleepy little arms that would still wrap themselves around me. And beyond him were two big husband arms that would also welcome me home. And if all that weren’t enough to make my ramming tank image receed and my choice words fade, then what on earth would?

So, take it from me. Watching cancer patients will teach you patience. I don’t recommend the method though.

Comments

One Response to “Patients…Patience”

1. Meghan says:

   May 28, 2009 at 10:29 am

   Really good reminder Michelle! I am impatient way too often when I am driving!